You are highly skeptical of anything that cannot be proven to you. You are particularly doubtful of anything having to do with spiritual matters. It is, therefore, difficult for you to find a personal philosophy that would give you peace of mind and insight into the purpose of your life.

You repress many of your natural inclinations because they do not fit into your intellectual or rational thinking. You need the part of your being that you are now repressing: the child within.

All the characteristics that have to do with the irrational and holistic side of life -- spirit, humor, playfulness, and intuition -- are being shut out. Your challenge is to find some philosophy and, ideally, a community that will give you additional perspectives, and force you to bring out the many other characteristics that are a fundamental part of you. Otherwise, you risk loneliness and isolation. You have to learn faith. 

When you consider that most of life is made up of the invisible world -- thoughts, emotions, insight, and love -- you can begin to appreciate that only a small part of life is within the domain of your senses.

You may have too much pride. You may experience a deep and humbling transformation that will set free the inner being you are keeping trapped within you.