You seek a stronger material foundation with developments that are concrete and tangible such as a better financial outlook, career advancement, or a more stable housing situation. 

However, on some level, ~first~, you have a belief that material security can be fleeting and that seeking happiness solely in that arena will not fulfill you. This can cause you to question your efforts to enhance your material situation and leave you feeling somewhat torn between two worlds. Your push to improve your life on a material level may be thwarted by this measure of fatalism. 